No Have Tos
You really don't. No body HAS to do anything.
This is a thought that I have struggled with - most of the time the struggle ending with me giving into the "have to."
And I have such a clear head today, it's awesome. This clear head is courtesy of something else and maybe someday, I'll share THAT revelation, but not today! I had told my brother to come visit and during the conversation I asked if he knew if our sister was going to be there - my twin. I stated that I did not want to be around her currently because we had both decided we do not have good viewpoints of one another.
Well, I was told that I need to talk to her and we are both acting immaturely.
I want to laugh! I want to giggle and roll on the flooring with laughter! And this realization is SO CLEAR. I do not have to do anything. I do not have to say anything. I do not...have to feel anything? But I'm already not angry, I'm not sad....I am no more of these negative feelings that have filled me for the last decade.
I don't care what she thinks. I don't care what she says. I don't care if we are friends, sisters, relatives. She is JUST a person. And if she was ANYONE else and treated me the way she treated me - we wouldn't be friends. We wouldn't see one another. We wouldn't talk. So why do I have to suck up the negative emotions she causes me because of that "family" word? If she was my boyfriend and said these words to me - we'd cry emotional abuse and shit would happen.
But she's family so instead it all gets chalked up to "siblings fighting," and one person is not winning. But I am winning now. I have cast out the utter stupidity, this cruel, this horribleness and I am lighter. I am better. I am freer.
This is a thought that I have struggled with - most of the time the struggle ending with me giving into the "have to."
And I have such a clear head today, it's awesome. This clear head is courtesy of something else and maybe someday, I'll share THAT revelation, but not today! I had told my brother to come visit and during the conversation I asked if he knew if our sister was going to be there - my twin. I stated that I did not want to be around her currently because we had both decided we do not have good viewpoints of one another.
Well, I was told that I need to talk to her and we are both acting immaturely.
I want to laugh! I want to giggle and roll on the flooring with laughter! And this realization is SO CLEAR. I do not have to do anything. I do not have to say anything. I do not...have to feel anything? But I'm already not angry, I'm not sad....I am no more of these negative feelings that have filled me for the last decade.
I don't care what she thinks. I don't care what she says. I don't care if we are friends, sisters, relatives. She is JUST a person. And if she was ANYONE else and treated me the way she treated me - we wouldn't be friends. We wouldn't see one another. We wouldn't talk. So why do I have to suck up the negative emotions she causes me because of that "family" word? If she was my boyfriend and said these words to me - we'd cry emotional abuse and shit would happen.
But she's family so instead it all gets chalked up to "siblings fighting," and one person is not winning. But I am winning now. I have cast out the utter stupidity, this cruel, this horribleness and I am lighter. I am better. I am freer.
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