So Many Miscommunications
I don't even know where to begin. I'm drained, people. I feel like I've been putting all this effort in and I just ended up getting shit on.
My boyfriend is on a plane of mind that I am not understanding. When he first left for his internship, we talked a lot about how much time would he have for me. It could go either way - he could have a lot of time, he could have no time. I understood this. First couple weeks, wow! He had all the time in the world! We'd talk throughout the day, he'd tell me cool things that were happening at work - it was really enjoyable.
And then, two weeks ago he started to become more and more frustrated with me. Recently, he has stated it is because I am expecting too much of his attention and boy, I am confused! We had this talk before he left, so I knew that he wouldn't always have time. I'm thinking it came from when I texted him that when he's home for the night and takes hours to respond to me - just let me know he's busy. I don't have anything going on when I'm home for the night, so if you're busy...just let me know.
I really don't think he heard me. I don't think he truly listened. I think he started "reading between the lines" even though there were no lines to read through. I do not remember me ever stating, "I want more of your time." Ever. Since he's been gone. The only thing I said was that it bummed me out when he's home for the night and he takes a long time to respond to me. I asked that simply just let me know you're busy.
He's become angrier with me. Shorter with me. More frustrated. And I'm just over here floundering because I don't know what I've done wrong. He's blaming it on me setting too high of expectations but I don't remember saying those to him. He says I'm relying too much on him. I don't know what he's talking about. I asked him one day this week if he could be more supportive of me since it's almost time for my period, and he threw that back in my face with these "too high of expectations."
I'm hurt. I'm so hurt. And I have no idea what to do because he wants me to solve my own problems. But I can't solve THIS problem if he's not saying what he means. At this point, I am honestly thinking he just doesn't want to talk to me, and wants to solely focus on his internship. Fuck all my help with that also - yah know? Fuck me helping him answer the questions to get approved. Fuck me proofing his emails. Fuck me helping him buy business clothes. Fuck. Me.
I feel like I'm going to vomit.
And now I feel I just need to leave him alone because the harder I try to figure this out, the less he responds, the less he actually responds to my questions, the less....EVERYTHING. So...what? Now I just need to turn off my humanity (shout out Vampire Diaries) and not give a damn? Not give a flying fuck until he comes back? Well, I bought a plane ticket to drive back with him and I can't get a refund for that. Yay.
Confused. Hurt. Lonely. Frustrated. I'm so tired.
My boyfriend is on a plane of mind that I am not understanding. When he first left for his internship, we talked a lot about how much time would he have for me. It could go either way - he could have a lot of time, he could have no time. I understood this. First couple weeks, wow! He had all the time in the world! We'd talk throughout the day, he'd tell me cool things that were happening at work - it was really enjoyable.
And then, two weeks ago he started to become more and more frustrated with me. Recently, he has stated it is because I am expecting too much of his attention and boy, I am confused! We had this talk before he left, so I knew that he wouldn't always have time. I'm thinking it came from when I texted him that when he's home for the night and takes hours to respond to me - just let me know he's busy. I don't have anything going on when I'm home for the night, so if you're busy...just let me know.
I really don't think he heard me. I don't think he truly listened. I think he started "reading between the lines" even though there were no lines to read through. I do not remember me ever stating, "I want more of your time." Ever. Since he's been gone. The only thing I said was that it bummed me out when he's home for the night and he takes a long time to respond to me. I asked that simply just let me know you're busy.
He's become angrier with me. Shorter with me. More frustrated. And I'm just over here floundering because I don't know what I've done wrong. He's blaming it on me setting too high of expectations but I don't remember saying those to him. He says I'm relying too much on him. I don't know what he's talking about. I asked him one day this week if he could be more supportive of me since it's almost time for my period, and he threw that back in my face with these "too high of expectations."
I'm hurt. I'm so hurt. And I have no idea what to do because he wants me to solve my own problems. But I can't solve THIS problem if he's not saying what he means. At this point, I am honestly thinking he just doesn't want to talk to me, and wants to solely focus on his internship. Fuck all my help with that also - yah know? Fuck me helping him answer the questions to get approved. Fuck me proofing his emails. Fuck me helping him buy business clothes. Fuck. Me.
I feel like I'm going to vomit.
And now I feel I just need to leave him alone because the harder I try to figure this out, the less he responds, the less he actually responds to my questions, the less....EVERYTHING. So...what? Now I just need to turn off my humanity (shout out Vampire Diaries) and not give a damn? Not give a flying fuck until he comes back? Well, I bought a plane ticket to drive back with him and I can't get a refund for that. Yay.
Confused. Hurt. Lonely. Frustrated. I'm so tired.
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